The fruit of mediocrity: Zucchini


Isabella Sanford, Entertainment Editor

   For some reason, it always shocks people when they learn that some food they thought was a vegetable is a fruit. You would think the human race has evolved to the point where we stop being so stunned every time we learn that this vegetable is a fruit. We have been misclassifying this food for quite some time. However, we are not, and we probably will not be for a very long time (if ever). So, surprise, surprise: yes, zucchini is a fruit.

   Zucchini is the fruit of mediocrity. Let me explain.

   Suppose you are given a choice between eating something else and zucchini, chances are, you will going to pick whatever else that is over zucchini (unless you are some weird zucchini lover, and in that case, that is slightly concerning). However, if you were required to eat that zucchini, it would not be the end of the world. This is where mediocrity comes into play.

   Most people would describe zucchini as “just okay.” It is “just fine.” It is right in the middle of decency. It is quite literally the definition of “fine.” 

   The definition of mediocre is of moderate quality. It can be good; it can be bad. It is just in the middle. However, just saying it is a “meh” fruit will not make you believe it, so here are the statistics.

   Forty-three out of 47 people say zucchini is either “okay” or “fine,” which means that nine out of ten people believe that zucchini is mediocre. Of course, There is the occasional outlier that either absolutely adores zucchini or someone that undoubtedly despises zucchini, but for the most part, the general public agrees that zucchini is a very middle-of-the-road, run-of-the-mill, so-so fruit.

   Despite zucchini being boring and basic, here are some ways you can spruce up your fruit:

  1. Fried zucchini. Personally my favorite. Cut up your zucchini into sticks, throw it in some egg and toss it in some breadcrumbs. Put that baby in an air fryer or even in some oil in a pan on high heat. Wait until the outside is golden brown, crunchy and ready to go. Then, you can dip it in some ranch and voila, you just turned an ordinary fruit into a spectacular snack.
  2. Cook it with the right ingredients. You can not just throw the zucchini in a pan and wait for it to burn. Heat  some olive oil, throw in some cubes or rectangular shaped sticks of zucchini, put in some minced garlic and add salt and pepper to taste. Let the zucchini cook until it is soft and mushy. This takes roughly seven to nine minutes on medium heat.
  3. Put it in something. I just heard about zucchini muffins and zucchini bread the other day, and they sound like great options. Supposedly, you can not taste the zucchini in either, so if you really, really hate zucchini and for some reason need to cook some, these are good options. I do not have a recipe, though, because I literally learned about these yesterday. You can probably find a good recipe on Google that will do just the trick.

   You can not cook away the mediocrity of zucchini, but you can certainly make it taste better.