We take real world problems that everyone has been through, and then we offer our best non-helpful advice. However if you dig past the nonsense, you will find a kernel of truth (or you will create some yourself).  Our topic this issue is College, more specifically how to choose your college.

One way to pick the best college for you is to take a look at a list of top party schools and pick the one at the top. These schools will always offer you the most fun and the worst possible grades, that’s what college is all about anyways. College isn’t a time for education, but a time to waste your parent’s money going to parties and buying six-packs of…..soda. (RIP Chris Farley)

The next way to pick your school is to literally roll the dice. Write down your top six college choices on small pieces of paper and glue them to a single dice. You then roll that dice seven times and whichever school is rolled the most is where you will attend next fall! The important thing to remember while making any important decision is that fate will always prevail!

The next best way to pick your college is to look at female-male ratios and pick the one that best suits you. Places like Howard or Temple University are known for having a lot more women than men, while colleges like Stanford or Texas Tech have a lot more men than women. Simply pick the best ratio for your preference!

Education should be the last thing you look for in a college. The most important thing to consider while picking a college is the athletic department. Only thing you will care about once you graduate is if your college won a national championship or not. So to pick your college, go on ESPN and pick one of the top 4 football teams.

Also cost should never come into your mind while trying to pick a university. Get student loans; that way you have something to motivate you to work hard once you graduate. Typically the most expensive colleges you can go to are private or out-of-state universities.  These should be your number one picks for college as they are the most expensive.

If you follow this advice, you will not have a great college experience. However if you dig past the nonsense and do the exact opposite of the advice given you will pick a great college. That’s all for this Pointless Advice, stay tuned for more.

JNR – Really like the way this turned out. I think that the six-pack thing is fine, mostly because watched Tommy Boy over break. To make the joke clear to all, maybe we should add a RIP Chris Farley thing, or (its from Tommy Boy for those uneducated in cinema).